A Day In The Life
by kaoscraze
Summary: A story told directly from the POV of one of the most beloved monsters in the show's history. Humor is abounding.


**A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaccccckkkk….**

**Told you it wouldn't be long, hehe. Many of you have asked for another story, and while this is NOTHING in comparison to my last epic piece**** of work, I decided to try my hand at a once-and-done sort of scenario. I also felt that it was only appropriate to put it out today, because guys-it's finally here! THE day…the best day of the year in my humble opinion…as of 9pm tonight, I will be in Daryl Dixon heaven! *sigh* **

**For those of you who still have to wait longer for episodes, I personally cry on your behalf. I also promise I won't give anything away and ask that you all do the same. Take in the moment but don't spoil it for others! It's been a LOOOONG time coming, and the last thing we need it a "Snape killed Dumbledore" moment again. I have no idea what will happen in those 43 minutes, but whatever it is, it will hopefully be epic!**

**So anyway, I've had this project sitting on the shelf for a few months now, but I think it's definitely one of my more original ideas to boot. Sadly, it doesn't really involve Daryl, but that doesn't mean it's not good. After wracking my brains trying to think about what else I could write about, or whose point of view might be interesting, I found my solution.**

**This story is entirely from the point of view of…...wait for it…a walker! **

**No, you didn't misread. This is a story about what the walkers go through on a daily basis. I got the idea after watching "Warm Bodies", which, while it had its dull moments, was altogether kind of a genius idea. The next question became…which one do I write about? Honestly, only one sprung to my mind. He is one of the most beloved walkers that has ever graced the TV screen in my opinion…your favorite and mine…ZOMBIE IN THE WELL! **

*****cheers and applause*****

**Yes, this darling monster made quite a splash in our hearts, and gave us one of the most awesome gross out moments in the history of the show. I still giggle like a twisted child when I know it's coming. **

**So, without further ado, I give you the story of the well walker. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing affiliated with the Walking Dead series or graphic novel.**

**WDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWD**

A Day in the Life

*voiceover*

You're probably asking yourself how I ended up in this whole predicament. Well, the truth is—haha, I said "well". Sorry I get distracted easily. You see, I'm a zombie.

Well, they call me a 'walker', but I've heard other terms before too. Geek, Biter…yeah none of them are very nice are they? It's not like I asked to end up like this. One day I was just a lowly car mechanic working down at the old station off of Highway 85, and the next thing I know, this guy comes along and takes a bite outta me! Scared me something good…especially after I noticed a good chunk of my neck went missing. After that, I started getting delirious…seeing things…eventually coughing up blood. Not fun stuff. I really can't recommend it to anyone as a way to go out. Eventually, the pain stopped and I got kinda numb to it all. It was nice.

Until the cravings started, that is.

Ever go for a long time between meals and you can feel your stomach twisting away inside you? Take that and multiply it by 100. Then you might get CLOSE to understanding how I felt. These days, all I can focus on is eating. Well, I kind of did that before too, but now I wasn't craving nacho chips or candy corn. I wanted meat. Raw meat. _Human_ raw meat. It seemed disgusting to me at too first, but nothing else was gonna cut it. My brain was hardwired for everything homo sapien. Now, munching on some intestines sounds like a dream come true. I'm pretty sure that's what brought me here in the first place, but sadly I didn't get too far.

I was just wandering along, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this board gave out from under me. It had seemed sturdy at the time I stepped on it, but I guess I was just a little too big for my own britches. Next thing I know, I'm plummeting down this damn hole into a bunch of warm water. It was kinda nice at first…sort of like a sauna. But after a few hours, my skin started taking on the water and I bloated up like a damn puffer fish. Not a great look for anyone in my opinion. Felt like I'd been down here forever, but then I started hearing voices.

Human voices.

Maybe I would get out of here yet. My stomach was doing that twisting thing again. It had been days since I'd had anything in the way of sustenance. It's true that us 'walkers' can go for days without eating…sometimes months. I've personally never done it, but that's why I'm not one of those skeleton-looking ones. I thought being skinny went out with the extinction of runway models. Apparently, waif was making a comeback, but I was hoping to never have to find out what it felt like. My next potential meal was just twenty feet above me.

The well stones had some traction to them, but damned if I could figure out how to climb up. My fingernails were starting to fall off, and there was a good chance that my skin would do the same if I didn't watch out. Some pieces of wood had fallen down with me, but they weren't much help either. Suddenly, I could hear more voices overhead. Oh boy, a group of them? I could feast until my stomach exploded. I could already taste their internal organs now.

They started lowering something down on a string…a piece of torso maybe? No, it definitely wasn't that. As it got closer, I inspected. Certainly looks like meat, but it doesn't seem very appealing. Then it dawned on me.

For crying out loud…it's a canned ham!

I said raw meat people, not cured meat! What the hell am I going to do with that thing? Bat at it? They really don't understand our species at all do they? I quickly lost interest. Then I heard one of them say something about live bait. A few minutes later, a pair of feet swung over the side of the opening.

**NOW WE'RE TALKING! **

It was a young kid, maybe in his mid-twenties. Asian from the looks of it. Well, I did always like Chinese food when I was alive. Of course, you're always hungry again 20 minutes later, and this guy was no exception. Not much meat on those bones at all. I considered leaving him be, but when your gut's gnawing at you from the inside out, it makes you do crazy things. He wouldn't fill me up, but at least he'd be a decent snack.

They were taking their good old time lowering him in, but then I heard something snap. He came shooting down just out of reach, but it was a hell of a lot closer than he had been. I scrambled to grab at one of his legs, but he kept kicking me away and screaming. In a way, I felt bad that I wanted to gnaw on his calf muscles, but on the other hand, it had been a pretty shitty week for me and I figured I deserved it. He sure was putting up a good fight, and his friends seemed to have a hold of him now. He was being pulled up again, but I'd managed to grab onto the rope that he was holding. What a day. If I'd have been wearing a shirt at the time, it would have read, "The humans get to keep breathing, and all I got was this lousy rope."

Just as I thought I'd lost my one and only chance out of here, someone started tugging on the other end. I wasn't sure how, but the rope had somehow wrapped itself around my midsection, and I was suddenly being lifted up into the air. With all of them together, it didn't take too long before they had me up and almost out of the hole.

When I saw daylight again, it was daunting. I tried to cover my eyes, but my arms were too bloated to really move around much. Then, as I got to the lip of the well, my belt got caught on a rock. Wouldn't you know it…those bastards kept right on tugging away. They didn't even bother to check and see why I wasn't moving anymore. How inconsiderate! You'd think I was a tractor stuck in the mud.

All of a sudden, my insides started to feel weird, like things were coming separated from each other. Remember that problem I told you I was having with my skin? Well it just increased two fold. Before I could make my suspicions clear to them, I felt it start to rip from the back. It kept going until it came around my stomach, and the next thing you know, one half of me is falling back in the well, while the other is coming out.

They'd turned me into a damn human piñata!

I didn't miss their faces when they realized what was happening. While I would have been happy to have seen the insides of one of them, but apparently the feeling wasn't mutual. I wiggled around; still hopeful that maybe I could grab onto one of their ankles and have a little chew time even though I was pretty sure my stomach had gone back down the hole with my lower half. Then, one of the big guys came over to where I was. He had plenty of meat on him, and my eyes bulged at the prospect of getting my hands on him. Then I noticed he was holding an ax. I wasn't stupid. I knew what he was gonna do with it. It wasn't like I'd had big expectations about my life, but I certainly hadn't been planning on this. I tried to plead my case to him, but all that came out was gurgling sounds. He raised it over his head, and I prepared for the worst. What were my last thoughts you ask?

This is REALLY gonna suck.

**A/N: And there ya have it! Short and sweet but fun all the same. Remember your promise to enjoy but not spoil TWD for anyone, and I will be thinking of you all as the bewitching hour rolls around. In the meantime, send me all the reviews you can manage…you know I love hearing from you guys! Until next time…**

**Bedeebedeebedeeb—that's all folks!**


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